I think I blinked and missed some years somewhere! Because today I took the children to visit Isaac’s new school for the first time. School? Surely not! It hardly seems like anytime at all that I was breast feeding this boy, putting him down to sleep in a Moses basket, cradling him in my arms and promising him mummy would always be there for him.
It didn’t feel like it at the time but looking back I can see that even those tender moments holding my newborn baby in my arms were times of preparation. Filling him full of nutrition, strength, adoration and a firm knowledge that he was loved, wanted and special. Those were precious times. Times when he was perfect and secure in my arms and I was there to protect him and hold him close and be there whenever he wanted. Times of preparing him for an uncertain future. Time of preparing him for a world way bigger than he could ever imagine. Times of preparing his heart with a tight bond of love that whatever he had to go through in life he would never forget that mum adored him and treasured him dearly.
We have always been close. I pray we always will be.
4 and a half years have passed. Life hasn’t been easy for this precious baby of mine but we have faced it all together. He has faced house moves, hospital appointments, changes to nurseries, two EEG’s, lots of infections and illnesses and so many people working with him. We went through his diagnosis together. We go to every hospital appointment together. It is my hand he takes when he wants something. It was my hair he ruffles when he needs to calm down. It is ‘mum’ he cries when it all gets too much for him. It it mum he wants first thing every morning and last thing every night. Only mum can give him his warm milk bottle. Mum knows what he wants when noone else does.
But now all of a sudden mum can not be there any more.
All of a sudden we have school on the horizon.
And mum can not even walk him to school. Or pick him up when school is over. Or even be there on his first day. Mum won’t be there at lunchtime. Won’t be able to change his nappy during the day or hold him when he gets tired. Mum can only think about him, pray for him and wonder how he is doing over 10 miles away at home.
The school that Isaac is starting in August is just perfect for him. God could not have prepared a better school for him in any way. It has a hydrotherapy pool, a soft play room, light room, and multi-sensory room. The classes are very small and the staff ratio is very high. There are onsite specialists to help and support him. It is an answer to prayer.
But Isaac must do this journey alone. He will have to get used to being transported by taxi by strangers. He will have to get used to a much longer school day and having a meal without his twin sister and parents there. He will have to adapt to so many changes. His entire world and all that he knows will be changing so much. He will once again have to get used to not having his twin sister around. Or mum or dad.
And we will all need to get used to not having Isaac around too.
So the preparation begins for us all. More visits to the school, buying uniform, lots of talking and reading books to Naomi, lots of tears for mum and lots of special hugs for Isaac.
How did he ever get from that baby in a Moses basket to this handsome energetic 4 year old? I must have blinked and missed it!