This time last year I was eagerly awaiting news on where my son would be going to school. We had no fight to get his name forward to the council as a child who would not be suitable for mainstream school, but we later had to fight to secure the right school placement. This week we had his second parents evening and he has settled well and is achieving within the right environment. We chose to defer twin sister Naomi from starting school as she was not yet diagnosed and a year could make so much difference to her development.
So here we are a year later. Naomi has grown in confidence, cognitive skills and comprehension and has much more understanding and awareness than last year. But she is still struggling (and always will) in areas affected by her autism diagnosis and also in her physical and independence skills. She is also doubly incontinent too. I have fought unsuccessfully for her name to be taken forward to the council as a child who would benefit from specialist education. Places are so limited and more and more children with autism are expected to attend mainstream schools.
At this present time the only advantage to this is that transition to school can start early. And that is very much a positive for a child with huge anxiety like Naomi. So last week it all began.
The Head Teacher, alongside the home/school link worker came to visit at home and gifted Naomi a school bag and a sticker book.
And as a thank you Naomi made a card in return:
I walked Naomi to the school to give them the card and we were able to talk to the office staff and the janitor. Naomi took a book with her and the staff took time to look through this with her. I have to give the school credit for this. And while I have reservations about wether the school can really meet Naomi’s needs, as her mum I will endeavour not to pass these concerns onto Naomi. She needs me to be excited for her in this new adventure. She needs me to support and encourage her and to help her understand this big change.
It’s a bit like one of her favourite bedtime stories ‘we are going on a bear hunt’ where it all becomes a big adventure yet the whole family still feel scared when they finally meet the bear. Only we won’t be running away. We will be facing this together, praying that this really exceeds my expectations and she excels there the same way her brother is excelling in his own way in his specialist school.
Talking of the bear hunt…here is my thoughts on her going to mainstream to the song of ‘we are going on a bear hunt’
We’re going to the mainstream
It’s gonna be a big thing
I’m so scared look at all those children!
Oh yes! A visit from the Head Teacher
She could have brought a pencil, she could have brought a tie
She bought her a school bag!
We’re going to the mainstream
It’s gonna be a big thing
I’m not scared, she has an IEP?
Oh no! The IEP from nursery doesn’t count in school!
We call another meeting, lots of people talking
The school will write a new one
We’re going to the mainstream
It’s gonna be a big thing
I’m so scared my daughter still wears nappies!
Oh no! They haven’t got a changing room
She won’t get 1-1, but she’s gonna need assistance
I can see some problems!
We’re going to the mainstream
It’s gonna be a big thing
I’m not scared there’ll be plenty of transition?
Oh no! She’ll be treated like the others!
We won’t know who’s her teacher, they’ll be no-one from her nursery
And they wonder why she’s anxious!
We’re going to the mainstream
It’s gonna be a big thing
I’m so scared, she has asd!
Oh yes! Another visit next week
I’ll need to work with them, we’ve secured a csp now
They know my name already!
She’s going to the mainstream
It’s gonna be a big thing
I’m not scared it is just around the corner
What? The uniforms are in the shops? Quick! Let’s look at the photos of the staff again, let’s reread every book on starting school ever written for kids, try on the new jumper, pack the school bag, get the packed lunch ready….oh it’s only March!
Why do I still get scared at her going to mainstream?
Let’s hope my concerns are all proved wrong.
Hopefully this time next year I will look back on this blog and wonder what all the fear was about…