To Everyone Who Helped My Son Through Brain Surgery

Rarely in life is the picture small. One simple stone thrown into a still pond creates a ripple that lasts long after the impact. So it has been with my ten years old’s recent brain surgery. This is a thank you to everyone who has been part of that ripple with one little amazing boy at the centre.

To the neurologist who saw my son for the first time after his previous neurologist retired and who immediately referred him for a routine MRI when he noticed it was later than originally planned: thank you for your diligence and quick referral. Without that my son would be suffering right now and no-one would know why. You were the person who threw that pebble and you did it with such attention to detail and care.

To the MRI clinic receptionist who called me with the date for that MRI: You had no idea you would be calling me several times again a few months later and we would recognise each other’s voices. Thank you for your professionalism and your cheery demeanour. I know we will be talking again soon, sooner in fact than anyone thought.

To the nurses who looked after my son on the day ward and have done five times now as he has become a regular in that day surgery. Thank you for always booking him a single room 3 because experience has taught us he won’t go anywhere else and doing all his checks as quickly and unobtrusively as possible. You take the time to understand him and allow me freedom to support him the way that works best without interfering. You make what is a long and difficult day more manageable for both him and me.

To the anaesthetist who I know like a friend: thank you for always putting my heart at rest and listening to my concerns. I alway know I am putting my baby in safe hands. Thank you for your reassurance time and time again. I was hoping we wouldn’t see each other for a while but when we meet again soon I will once again leave you with my sleeping child and trust you to keep him safe. You have proved your worth and continue to do so.

To the radiographers who have looked at my sons scans so many times and who have spotted first a tumour on his optic nerve, then other signs of concern and who quickly alerted medical staff to the mass on his right frontal lobe. Thank you for your attention to detail. Your diligence and thoroughness are what have made the difference between surgeons removing active brain cells and dead ones in my sons complex brain. You are partly responsible for his great recovery and quality of life.

To the oncologist, neurosurgeon, neurologist and radiologists who have met and discussed my son’s case numerous times: I know he has caused division and discussion but thank you to every single one of you for caring enough to want to help and investing your time and energy in seeking answers.

Thank you again to the neurologist left to make that call to me to say what had been found on my sons scan. I can only imagine the turmoil that call caused to have to phone an anxious mum at tea time and tell her surgeons she had never met wanted to do brain surgery on her non verbal autistic son because they had found ‘something” in his brain they didn’t like. You made that call with such compassion, such concern, yet such clarity that you left me feeling my son would be looked after and all would be well even though I was in shock. Thank you for going above and beyond and calling back the next night just to check on me. I will never forget your kindness.

Thank you to the neurosurgeon and oncologist for finding time in your busy schedule to meet with me and answer every question I had and letting me see scans for myself . Your care and straightforward talking made me feel secure and at peace knowing you had a plan and experience on your side.

To the staff in the day ward who coped with my distressed child when for the first time his anaesthetic failed and he woke in the MRI machine, thank you for your quick thinking and for making sure my son recovered from the trauma.

To the staff in the neurological ward who found themselves admitting a child with complex needs who spent the entire day pacing the ward while his mum read out the numbers in every door: thank you for your endless patience, adapting to my son’s ways and coming in to work the TV endless times a day to keep him settled. You made his stay bearable and tolerable against all odds and I know you will do it all over again in a few months when we are back to repeat it.

To the surgeon who worked on my son’s brain for six hours tirelessly unsure what you were going to see yet determined to find enough of that ‘something’ to biopsy and get answers. The scar you left has astounded many with how incredibly clean, well sutured and neat it is. You took great lengths to make sure you got everything you needed whilst carefully replacing the layers of my baby’s brain and skull. You then took more time to talk to me and show me what you had done and then met again with me weeks later to discuss the results. I could see your frustration when the results came back different to expected but your tangible relief in sharing it wasn’t cancerous made me realise how much you care about what you do. When you broke the news of the likely need for more surgery you did so with tenderness and care knowing this wasn’t something I wanted to hear.

To everyone who has messaged, prayed, supported me and my family, send cards, bought gifts for my children and hugged me as I cried: thank you. I could never have gone through this alone.

My son has been incredible. His resilience and determination has astounded me and I have faith he will get through this again when it all needs repeated to remove the tumour/lesion as best as they can in a few months time.

When you are part of the ripple in someone’s life it can be hard to see that your role, your part, is of any significance at all but everyone makes a difference. From the person making the phone call to the hand holder, to the person pushing the bed to theatre to the most qualified professional of all, we should never underestimate the role we have in helping someone else be the best person they can be.

Thank you to everyone who helped my son through his brain surgery and who will do it all again this summer. Without you all my son would not be loving life and loving me the way he does.

You had a role in saving a life. Be proud of yourself and know you are appreciated greatly.

Thank you,

From an emotional mum.

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The reason I write

imageToday marks three years since I started blogging.

In that time I have gained experience, followers and a lot of views. But what made me start blogging and why do I continue when I have been accused of exploiting my children, damaging them and even attention seeking?
Well the answer can be found in the name of my blog: Faithmummy.

The week after I had my 36th birthday it dawned on me that I was suddenly nearer forty than I was thirty and it was time to do something with my life. So I prayed. Prayer is my default setting because I have a strong faith.
I thought I had ONE story to share. So I looked online at how to do this. It was too long for social media standard posts and I could not find a suitable online forum so looked into blogging. I set up a blog and prayed. And then began to write.
And as I wrote I felt there would be more to come but that was all I knew.I clicked publish and put it on my own Facebook. It seemed popular. I was taken aback!
A few days later I contacted my brother who I knew had an already established professional blog in his field of expertise. I asked him one question..
So what do I do now?
He said that I would have to update it and that many people do this weekly!
Weekly? But I only had one story!
So I prayed. And the next week I felt I had something else to write.
So I updated my blog and people read it.
As the next week approached I prayed. And then I wrote.
167 posts later, I pray, and then I write.
And if I don’t feel I have something to share I wait.

So the number one reason I write is because I feel God wants me to write. Wether people read it or not, I write for me.

Before I press ‘publish’ I pray, sometimes ‘sleep on it’, send it to a friend or speak to my closest earthly friend of all, my husband. Sometimes we all need wise council to keep us right.
Maybe some weeks I get it wrong. I am sure I do. But God is gracious and I believe he knows my heart. And I believe He is supernaturally protecting my children in it all.
No-one really knows the difficulties and opposition I have faced in my blogging journey and neither do many people know my statistics. It is a personal journey in many ways despite the fact I write publicly.

I can not tell you all the places my blog has appeared. I can not tell you the names of the people it has helped. But what I can say with confidence is that the person who has been the most touched, transformed and become closer to God in it all is me. The bigger my audience the more I need Him. And the more I pray.

I am just a mummy.

A mummy who can not face what I face without my faith.

I share from my heart, and I hope in some way I share from God’s heart too.

By the grace of God Faithmummy was birthed and by the grace of God it continues.

You might think it is about my children. But in actual fact it is about me: me as a mum, and my faith.

So even though I now write for several different places this blog will remain as Faithmummy and until I feel the time is right to stop, I will write.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for commenting. Thank you for sharing. But mostly thank you for being part of my journey.

YOU make Faithmummy what it is!

Happy birthday Faithmummy!

I blogged, you shared and together we won!

Over 1200 read about my boy being denied a school placement to meet his needs. So it is only right that the same people get to hear what happened today.

We won!

And here’s the details:

We had the letter arrive to say our placing request for a local special needs school had been declined on the legal grounds that the school would need to employ another teacher. To you and I that means the school is full.

We had also asked for the original decision to place him in a unit within a very busy mainstream to be reviewed. The review also came back as the original decision being upheld.

So here we were with the following options:

1. Take the council to tribunal through the summer. We were very very unlikely to win a tribunal if the school is full. 

2. Consider a late deferral and hope to find a suitable school next year. there are only two special needs schools for our whole area. We would have had to go through the whole process next year again with no guarantee of getting it right again.

3. Home school.

4. Do something totally radical and ask strangers to help.

5. Send him to the school they wanted (Not a chance!)

I must be crazy but options 1-3 (let’s rule out option 5 straight away) did not appeal and as we had nothing to lose I wrote my usual weekly blog. And put it on my usual social media outlets. Except this time I begged people to share it. And ask others to share it. Get it out there. Make it public. 

So I blogged. And you shared.

And I emailed the press. Then I called the council. And they got worried. So I sent them the blog too. 

And a few hours later they called to say they wanted to talk. Great. I was delighted to listen. And an arrangement was formed. We could still not have a place in our local special needs school but we COULD have a place in the other school. In other words: WE WON!!!!!

So can I say THANK YOU!

Thank you for playing your part in changing a decision that would have been detrimental to the health and welfare of my son. Thank you for being part of our miracle. Thank you for reading, sharing, talking about it and praying. Thank you for caring enough about a little 4 year old boy you didn’t know. 

Thank you for changing this boy’s future.

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I blogged, you shared and together we won! Please feel free to celebrate with me. He has his first induction this Wednesday!!!

Hallelujah.