How My Severely Autistic Son Used YouTube To Speak To Me


Isaac loves his iPad. It is with him from the moment he wakes until the second he goes to sleep. He has a few games he likes and he really enjoys looking through the photos but his all time love is YouTube.

He is pretty typical of many 8 year old boys in that sense. However there is something very different about Isaac: he has no spoken language at all. Isaac has severe autism as well as other complex medical issues and he has poor eye sight. He can not read or write and certainly can not type into a you tube search bar. He fumbles his way through you tube by clicking on random videos and spends most of his day flapping in delight at lift doors opening and closing over and over again.

When Isaac does listen to songs they tend to be very random or theme tunes of favourite programmes aimed at very young children like ”Peppa Pig’ or ‘Wooly and Tig’. He rarely allows anyone else to touch his iPad so he has to go on ‘rabbit trails’ through lift videos or episodes of Wooly and Tig to find anything different. Due to the nature of the video playing app he tends to be faced with a fairly limited repertoire but this has suited him immensely due to his need and love for repetition.

I am not afraid to admit I often struggle to parent my son. He gets frustrated (I absolutely understand that) and that can lead to hours of screaming or throwing himself down the stairs or hitting and pinching people. He has severe phobias of things I can not control like open doors or other children (including his sister) eating and drinking. His life has to be the same all the time which makes living with him quite restrictive. He is not toilet trained nor can he care for any of his own needs. Some days I get very low and I question ‘why us?’ My faith has been taken to levels of testing I never knew existed before.


Then one night last week I stopped what I was doing and just sat beside my son. I longed to hold him but I knew he would attack me. My love for him was overwhelming yet I was unsure if he even knew who I was. I sat beside him on his bed and I could feel the tears building at the back of my eyes. I have not been able to take him to church for weeks now because of his outbursts and his inability to cope with the slightest change. Had God forgotten about my child? Did my son have any idea of the world around him or how much he was loved? I was weeping for my child. My heart was broken both for myself and my son.
In that moment I heard words that seemed to come from God himself. A male voice I had never heard before. The words caught my heart before my brain even fully processed them..

 
“Don’t weep for me…”

What? My son was looking right at me smiling. He knew who I was and not only did he love me but he had something to share with me. He moved closer to me as his finger pulled the scroller on the you tube bar back to the start of where he wanted it to be…

Somehow, I believe from God himself, my non verbal severely autistic son with limited eyesight and no ability to read or write, had found a song on you tube that was saying everything HE wanted me to know…

Don’t weep for me, God made me this way. He’s chosen not to let me speak, but I hear every word you say…

Because the pieces of many colours symbolises what I am, it represents the hope of a cure that lies in God’s own hands” 

He pulled that bar back to the exact spot again and again as those words washed right over us both.
I was weeping for a child I thought I had lost but here that same child was showing me more than his own words ever could in a way so powerful, so emotional and so spiritual it was like God himself was in that room. 

I can not explain how he found that video. I can not explain how he understood those words and related them to himself. I have no logical explanation to the timing of me arriving in his room and him finding it or the fact he would scroll right back to the start of that chorus time and time again.
We sat there together for what felt like hours. The words of that song healing places in my heart I had not even realised were broken.

 
It was an experience I will never forget. My non verbal severely autistic son with complex medical and developmental needs brought me to tears by using you tube to communicate something I will never forget. 

Isaac can not speak to me but God can use any means he wants to give him a voice. That day he used you tube and this song.
Have a listen to what my son wants everyone to know:

 

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The day one of my neighbours became an angel to my seven year old.

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I wish I had the faith of my seven year old. When she prays incredible things happen time and time again.

My daughter is so special but so fragile. God has his hand on her in a very special way. Naomi has autism. She has huge anxiety and her twin brother has a genetic condition with complex needs as well as autism. To help ease her anxieties she carries little toys with her wherever she goes, including going to school.

A week ago today her twin brother was due to go to hospital to have an ambulatory EEG machine fitted to monitor his seizure activity. Naomi was more anxious than usual that day and clung to her toys in her pocket as she walked to school.

I left her at school and headed up to hospital with her brother Isaac. It was traumatic for him and for us and we headed home with him all wired up. Naomi was collected from school by her gran as we were not going to be home in time.image

I came home to her in tears. One of her precious toys has been lost. She was distraught and I felt so helpless. I could not just go to a shop and replace it as her brother could not be left unattended and she knew this. Nothing could make things better and she cried in my arms. My heart was broken for her.

As she dried her tears and her breathing settled she quietly looked up at me and whispered

“It’s ok mummy. I have prayed. God will bring me back my toy.”

My thoughts turned to how I could make this happen. I did not want her heart to be disappointed but more importantly I did not want her faith to be shaken. I am her mum, but I can not be God. I looked into her beautiful blue eyes and saw her heart of faith.

“Naomi, you are right. I believe with you.”

And that was that. She had prayed.

As I continued to watch her brother closely we started homework with a total peace. She lined up her toys leaving an obvious gap where her missing one belonged. I knew she would not sleep tonight with that gap there but she just assured me God would bring her toy back.

She did her spelling and her reading with her heart of peace intact. She smiled, she laughed and she carried on as normal.

Then the door bell went.

Mummy, that is the Angel God has sent with my toy.”

Have you ever seen an angel? Do you think they have a halo, wings and dressed in white? My daughter knows differently. There on my doorstep stood a neighbour I only knew by sight.

“Hi, this may sound strange. On my way to work this morning I found a plastic toy on the ground. I picked it up and wondered if it belonged to your daughter. I don’t know you but I put it in my pocket and took it to work with me. I am on my way home now and just thought I would knock your door and ask if it belonged to you.image

My daughter danced with excitement. I cried.

I don’t know what my son faces but I know God is with us.
I don’t know how my daughter will cope with a future with autism, anxiety and living with a twin with complex needs but what I do know is that God has his hand upon her in a very special way.

God cares about a plastic toy for a seven year old and God cares about you.

I will never forget the day one of my neighbours became an angel to my seven year old.

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I’m still here, and I still love you

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Though you have just this minute screamed so loud in my ear that my entire head is ringing. I still love you. Though you have laid on the floor hitting your head in anger and frustration, throwing everything in sight about, I still love you. When you bang the table and spin your dinner plate in annoyance because I am not cooking your dinner fast enough, I still love you. When I lifted you to safety because you were about to walk head first into the corner of the kitchen work top and you rewarded me by biting me. Even in that moment, when the pain went right through me, I never stopped loving you. When you wake me up screaming and making noise in the smallest of the small hours through the night and I find myself getting frustrated and exhausted. When I roll you over, whisper in your ear quietly and give you your dummy once again because I know you need to try and sleep. Even in the middle of the night I’m still here. And I love you. I love you in all your pain, in all your frustrations, in all your laughter and in all your flapping and chest beating. I love your quirky ways and sense of humour. Even when it seemed, during the 276 days you solidly and religiously only wore your school jumper every day (yes even on Christmas day) I was sighing inwardly. I love how you thought it so funny to wear a blue top, just like that, after so long, only to go right back to only wearing that same red jumper again every single day. Even when I could cry, or I walk away to gather my patience once again. Even when I put you on the naughty step or take you to your room, even when I tell you ‘finished’ and ‘no’, even when it seems like I am the last person you feel cares, right then, I’m still here. And I still love you.

When you stamp your feet at me, shout at me and demand of me, and I tell you off for being rude or cheeky. Right there, at that moment when you want to walk right away from me and never talk to me again, right at that precise moment, I still love you. When you play with your toys and accidentally smash my favourite mug, or spill hot tea everywhere, or pull the toy right at the bottom of the pile knocking boxes of various things flying across the room. When my mouth says ‘stop that right now’ or ‘that’s it’ or ‘I’ve had enough’, my heart is still full of love even when my emotions get the better of me. When you wake up in the middle of the night from a scary dream and you call out my name. It doesn’t matter if I am not right there in your room. I am still here, and I still love you. When things are tough at nursery, when you just can’t seem to speak or work through your anxieties, when your one and only friend is not in that day and your heart sinks, I might not be holding your hand, but I am right there. When the dentist visits again and you instantly have flashbacks to the trauma of having your teeth coated with fluoride and how the very taste made you vomit because you could not bring yourself to spit out the excess stuff, I am right there. I have gone before you and prepared a way out. When I know it will just be too much for you I ticked that box that said ‘I do not wish my child to take part’. Because I love you. And I know how much you can bare. When I ask you to be quiet in full conversation because the phone just rang and you get frustrated because you didn’t get to finish what you wanted to say, when I push you to try on pants again when you would rather stay in nappies, when I get you to try and dress yourself when you would prefer I did it for you, it is all because I care. When you are struggling to pull those trousers and pants up when you have just sat in the toilet and you feel I have left you alone in your embarrassment and shame, I haven’t. I am watching, praying, pushing, stretching you and helping. I’m still here. And I love you. In the tears and the frustrations, in the moments you want to be alone, in the moments you are afraid or worried, in the moments of excitement and laughter, in all of those and more, I’m still here.

When the silence isn’t because we are a peace but rather because words have got lost in the stress of another long day. When you are leaving out one door as I am coming in from the other. When you can’t see any joy in the week through the stream of appointments and commitments. When the sum total of our kisses seem to be a quick peck on the cheek. When night and day become a non stop blur that never seems to end and intimacy is pulling the duvet closer around you. When the flame of love is a spark barely still flickering. When you have tripped over one stray toy too many, heard the same clip of dvd so often you are tempted to see if the dvd can be fried for lunch one day, and there is no longer any laughter at the dinner table. When you are still clearing away the dishes from the previous meal whilst I am cooking the next one. When you drive the car to get groceries and you are temped to sit in the car park for half an hour before going in just to get time on your own. When you have a head ache that has gone on so long you start to forget what it is like to no longer have one. When the only hand you hold is a young child’s to help them down the stairs when once you used to hold hands with your best friend and lover. When you dread the school holidays because you just don’t know what to do with the kids anymore. When your child wants pushed on the swing for so long you start to lose feeling in your arm and your chin is growing a beard while you stand there. When it seems hope is lost, the clouds will never move and the hill will never be conquered. In all those times I am still there. Still praying. Still holding on. Still loving you. We will get through this.

When you have given up on me. When you think all is lost. When hope seems a distant memory. When you sit in the middle of the floor when the children have gone to bed and the tears won’t stop. When your heart aches just to be close to someone. When you think you just can’t face another day…don’t despair my child. I know it is hard. I know some days you just feel so alone. But I need you to remember something, my precious one: I’m still here. And I still love you.

“Because you are precious in my eyes, …and I love you…for I am with you.” Isaiah 43:4-5
“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matt 28:20
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases” Lam 3:22

Just Watching

Sometimes as a parent the best thing you can do is just watch. Take a step back and not always lead the play. Just be there and watch. It is so beautiful and makes me so proud just watching my children. Sometimes I watch them quietly playing, or engrossed in a dvd or splashing in the bath. Even the simplicity of watching them eat makes me smile so much. I’ve loved watching them and looking at them and savouring every minute of their presence since the moment I set eyes on them over 4 years ago now. I watch them and cry. Watch them and smile. Watch them and feel so utterly blessed. Watch them with pride and joy. And sometimes watch a miracle unfold right in front of my eyes.

By just watching I saw Isaac do something utterly amazing last Sunday.

I had taken the children along to a church service and brought with us the usual loads of toys, snacks, nappies, wipes, in fact pretty much everything two 4 year olds could possible need for a few hours. Including the portable dvd player! I set up a space at the side and set up their beloved Peppa Pig dvd playing very low and spread some toys out before them. I was enjoying the church but was also carefully watching my children too. Some of the toys were related to Peppa Pig as Naomi likes to often reenact parts of the dvd in her play. Pretty normal four year old stuff. But Isaac has classic autism. He is nonverbal and has severe learning difficulties and global developmental delay. He is more like 2 than 4 and a half. He normally eats Naomi’s Peppa Pig figures or scans the toys across his eye line. But as I stood watching him that Sunday evening he picked up a few figures and used one to pretend to climb the stairs of a toy slide and then slid the figure down the slide. He then repeated it a few times with some of the other figures. I wanted to scream from the highest rooftop I could find. I wanted to dance with joy. I had just watched my child for the first time ever in his life use a toy appropriately! He knew the toy represented a slide and he knew what the figures were supposed to do. He had watched clips of them doing it so often on his dvd, he had even used a slide many times himself but up until that moment he had never reenacted anything he had seen before or used a toy for it’s intended purpose. His special moment lasted barely a minute before he started to once again chew the slide and figures. He hasn’t suddenly discovered how to use all his toys for their intended purpose or stopped chewing and biting everything he sees but I watched him do something amazing and I will keep watching him and encouraging him and playing with him until I see things like this more often. I’m watching out for more progress.

Naomi doesn’t like to be watched though so I sometimes have to be sneaky. She is incredibly self conscious and has a sensitive nature. She gets distressed if I watch her make a mistake. I would love to watch her reading books to herself and retelling stories we have read together at bedtime so often. But she freezes up and gets distressed at this so I watch from a distance and enjoy hearing her voice from afar or listening to her through the baby monitor. She has the sweetest voice and is such a natural storyteller.

But Naomi gets great enjoyment from watching other people. Her nursery comment regularly that rather than join in activities she prefers to stand aside and watch. She learns so much from watching others at play, watching the teachers explaining things and watching others join in games. Social interaction of any sort is a real struggle for her and she needs that time to watch how others play together to learn the social skills that other children gain so naturally. She loves watching people. But then again so do I.

I love watching other parents fighting for their children and winning battles. I love watching parents just enjoying their children and grandchildren at parks and swimming and soft plays and having fun. I love watching children laughing, joking and playing in the warm sunshine. I love seeing couples so in love strolling hand in hand. I love seeing older people sitting on park benches remembering precious memories. I love watching mums with their young babies, fathers kicking balls with their sons, neighbours talking to each other over fences. I love seeing people happy. I enjoy just watching.

I am getting so much comfort from the fact God is watching me too. He loves watching me and savouring every moment of my presence the exact same as I do with my children. He watches over me and cries. He watches over me and smiles. He watches over me with pride and joy. He watches me to teach me and instruct me. He loves watching me because I am his child and he loves me. Like I am with my children he just loves to watch me and listen out for me.

“The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry” Psalm 34:15

I love just watching moments like this with my precious children:
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“It’s ok, I’ve got you”

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It was a dry and mild spring evening, the sort you want to make the most of and get out of the house. So we packed the kids in the car, the changing bag, a few little toys and grabbed the leftover loaf of bread on the way out to feed the ducks at Lanark Loch. The park at the Loch has recently been rebuilt and we thought the kids might enjoy some time on the swings, climbing frame and slides after feeding the ducks and swans. We ‘thought’ it would be a relaxing evening. We ‘thought’ we could enjoy some quality family time together. We thought it would be ok. I never for a minute thought I would be writing about that evening days later with the emotions of it all still raw in my mind.

Naomi loved feeding the various animals and was so excited as they approached her eager to enjoy the food she was providing them. Isaac had other plans. So we did what we so often have to do in these situations and resorted to our tried and tested method of parenting these days “divide and conquer”. One parent takes the daughter and the other the son. A simple smile and nod to my ever understanding husband and he recognised the cue that I was heading off with Isaac, hopefully to the swing park. Never try and second guess someone with autism! Unpredictability should be their middle name!

It never occurred to me to check I had the essentials all special needs parents must carry at all times. In our case a watch, the car keys and a mobile phone! As I chased after my flapping, wobbling, vocal four year old who has an absolute love of water my first thoughts were along the lines of ‘will he keep his clothes on today’, ‘how deep is that water?’ and ‘even the swans have got the right idea to get out of his way!’.

But he never headed for the water. He was setting off around the loch following the path of so many dog walkers, romantic couples and runners before him. His eyes were squinted at the edge of the bushes tracking their path as they steered right around the waters edge. Totally in his own world. Totally oblivious to anyone around him. Just engrossed in an imaginary line that only he seemed able to see. I could certainly benefit from the exercise and had no choice but to follow this fascinating child who was off exploring.

He was looking at the bushes. Mum was looking out for obstacles at his feet, uneven tracks that he would never notice with eyes fixated on a peripheral imaginary line only seen by him. I was apologising to fellow walkers approaching in the opposite direction assuming this little one would move out of the way of their dog, pram or running path. But Isaac wasn’t even aware of them as he half walked, half ran in his trance like state. I was saying polite hellos to strangers. My little one more interested in the shrubbery than in people.

As he continued along and I got into his groove my thoughts began to wander as much as he was: ‘Will dad and Naomi have any idea where we are?’ ‘Are they having as much ‘fun’ as me?’ ‘Maybe after all this walking Isaac might actually sleep tonight!’ ‘wow, this place is beautiful. I’m so glad I am getting to see so much more of this place tonight.’

And then he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks! Why, I have no idea. And he screamed this ear piercing scream, a broken-hearted, confused, disorientated look on his face. And real tears. He can’t talk but his face said it all. He finally knew I was there. And he needed me. He had just walked half a mile (.75 km) in an absolute trance and suddenly reality hit and he had no clue where he was and how he got there.

“It’s ok, I’ve got you”

Half a mile is easy to walk in the cool of an evening with only the weight of your own burdens upon you. But with the weight of a 4 and a half year old, a heavy heart and all his disorientated frustrated burdens as well as your own, it is a very long way indeed. And it was right around that time that I suddenly realised I had no phone, no car keys and no watch on. Oh dear. We were alone. But we weren’t.

“It’s ok, I’ve got you”

I kept reassuring him as God was reassuring me of the same thing.

“It’s going to be ok my precious child”

He was hearing me through his tears. And I was listening through my tears too.

“We’ll get through this together.”

He needed to know he wasn’t alone. So did I.

“Look at that duck Isaac! Can you hear that dog bark?”

Sometimes we need to be distracted from our own worries.

We made it back safe and well together. I learnt that night that sometimes we can walk alone in life but at other times we just need held and carried and told by someone “It’s ok. I’ve got you.”

Not finished yet…

“I’m not finished yet mummy” says my 4 year old daughter for the third time within an hour. This girl really does not like being interrupted and everything must be completed before moving on.

“Dinner’s ready”
“I’m not finished yet”
“Bath time”
“I’m not finished yet”
“time for mummy to wash your hair”
“But, I’m not finished yet”

And so it goes on. Even when she has time out on the naughty step and I go to her to give her a hug and encourage her to apologise we still hear “But I’m not finished yet”.
Some parents might see it as cheek, or disobedience or plain bad behaviour. I see it as something we need to work on and help her with. She is 4. She is busy doing her own thing, playing her own game or watching something on a dvd. She is making sense of the world and learning new things. She is sorting out her thoughts and singing her own songs. So we show her patience, teach her using timers that prepare her for the change of activity, and encourage obedience. And we recognise the importance of what she is doing by leaving her line of toys untouched and respecting her space. And she comes to join us for dinner or bath time or gets her coat for going out. And she enjoys it. She is learning to consider others, that sometimes we have to do things in other peoples time frames rather than ours and that there is times when playing needs to stop. Meanwhile I am learning patience, respect and gentleness in my approach. I may be her parent but she can teach me so much too.

“I’m calling to enquire about my sons education. We are still waiting on the results of your recent review regarding his school placement.”
“I’m sorry. We are not finished yet”

Ouch. If I thought my daughter was teaching me patience I really had no idea how much patience I would need in dealing with the local authority! My son has severe and complex needs. He is unable to attend mainstream schooling so we are left with no option but to go through the education system for placing such children in our local authority. It is proving to be a very long and tedious process. His report was first submitted in late November last year. The people responsible for making decisions (the forum) didn’t meet until April. The placement given wasn’t suitable. So we appealed. With just 7 weeks left before term finishes they still haven’t finished the appeal process. Should we be unhappy with the placement allocated after appeal we can either take the council to tribunal or opt for a late deferral. We also filed a placing request for the school of our choice. The council has two months to get back to us on this. Our school saga is definitely not finished yet.

We applied for a co-ordinated support plan for Isaac. This is a legal document recognising all his needs formally and outlining how these needs will be met and by who. It is updated regularly. We had our initial meeting this last week and all of the professionals attending agreed unanimously for this process to start. This should make a difference to the level of care my baby boy receives. He is finally going to be assessed for occupational therapy and physiotherapy. Wherever he attends school, wether this year or next, we can have a peace that legally his needs will have to be met at any cost.
We are still fighting for respite. Naomi has her school deferment finally in writing but we are still fighting to get her speech and language support for her selective mutism and anxiety. We are still waiting on her formal diagnosis. The fight for all that these children require to support them is not finished yet..

“God, thank you for the miracles you are doing in these children. Thank you for all you are teaching me through them. Thank you for the lives being touched by our story…”
“My precious child, I’m not finished yet…..”

“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…” Phil 1:6

Whatever trial you are facing, whatever difficulties you face today, remember God isn’t finished working yet. And there are so many wonderful things ahead.

Lining up the telletubbies before coming for dinner.
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Living in miracle land

What an amazing week! It has literally been one of the most amazing 7 days ever. I feel like I am living in miracle land. Both my children have experienced breakthroughs so significant that I am emotional even thinking about them let alone sharing them. You may not see my tears of happiness and joy but I hope I can convey some of the emotion and incredibleness of this week with you through my words.

Isaac:

Well anyone who has read any of my previous blogs will know how special this little boy is. His daily struggles to communicate, not become overwhelmed with the world and everything around him and to experience all that life has humble me on a daily basis. Isaac is 4 years and 6 months old. But he has only ever said one word. I shared the magic of that wonderful moment a while back in my blog “I just heard him say ‘mum'”. What I haven’t shared is that that was it. He said it on 6th March but never again. Can you imagine how much my heart has yearned to once again hear my child call me mum? Can you imagine my excitement that this word could have been the start of many more to come? But then the disappointment of living daily with only unrecognisable noises and little eye contact coming from your beloved boy. Boy, my patience and faith has been tested as I have longed with all my heart to hear his tender voice once more.

And then yesterday morning, Tuesday 30th April, 55 long days later, he said it again! I went to wake him up and carry him downstairs for breakfast as per his usual morning routine and he threw his arms around me, looked right in my eyes and said mum. Words are inadequate to even begin to explain what that moment did for me. The pain, the heartache, the sheer disappointment of every minute of those last 55 days instantly washed away in a single embrace from my profoundly autistic son. My hope restored. My faith renewed. All in an instant. He knows who I am. He loves me!

Then there’s the moment he went into the kitchen cupboard and brought me out a plastic tumbler. He is asking for a drink. I count this as major progress but he was about to go above and beyond what I thought he could do once again. When I said “juice” he turned and walked back to the cupboard, looked directly at two different flavours of diluting juice bottles and handed me the blackcurrant one! So now he can make a choice. His receptive language has increased exponentially. And he delighted in showing me exactly what he wanted. Mum was listening. Who needs words? His flapping, smiling, excitable demeanor showing me he knew just how amazing he was. I am living in miracle land!

Look out for more miracle updates on this boy. God has started a work and he will carry it on to completion. This boy has destiny.

Naomi:

My beautiful, caring, happy but anxious little girl who has such a hunger for knowledge and a love of life even in the midst of her social struggles and anxieties. But one thing she really struggles with is a fear of animals. But this week she too has lived in miracle land and overcame her fears beyond anything I could expect. At one of our weekly kids clubs this week we had a visit from the animal man. While I had prepared Naomi all week for this event I was realistic in my approach and prepared for her to panic and become upset at the sight of not one animal but an entire room full. But she proved to me we should never underestimate anyone. On Monday night she stroked a rabbit, a bearded dragon, a guinea pig, a hen and a snake! She smiled, she talked and she laughed at her mum who overcame her own fears to prove that there is nothing to fear. Yes I even had a snake around my neck! The things you do for your children! I can not explain how proud I am of my little girl.

Then, (and this one actually deserves a blog all of it’s own it is so fantastic) the same night when in the bath this precious child started to talk about the children in her nursery class. In particular she spoke about two little girls, one who uses sticks to be able to walk and the other who uses a walker. I have no idea what difficulties these girls face and was thankful my daughter never asked. What she did ask was “Mummy, can God make these girls legs better?” What do you say to that? I could only answer as my faith allowed. “Yes, honey. Of course he can.” So that night my 4 year old daughter, with her tender heart, prayed with me for these little girls.You never know how powerful a childs prayer is.

The very next morning Naomi came home from nursery beaming with excitement and joy. “Guess what mummy. It was Shannon’s special day today. We had a party at nursery. Shannon walked for the first time ever today without her sticks.” I am living in miracle land. I defy that not to affect you.

There is something utterly amazing about answered prayer. Even when tomorrow comes with all it’s new challenges and struggles and the memory of miracle land seems long ago I can think back on these amazing breakthroughs and remind myself of the power of prayer and the awesomeness of my God.

Look for the miracles today. Some days they are much easier to find than others. But I believe you will find them. And be encouraged by the faith of a four year old girl. Can God heal? Just ask Naomi!

Holding a snake:

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