The extra stress of being a full time carer at Christmas

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If you ask people what jobs never get time off at Christmas and the majority will list those in the emergency services or health service. These are vital services that we all expect to work through public holidays to ensure our health and safety at all times.

But among those working tirelessly on Christmas Day, Boxing Day and throughout the new year celebrations too are full time carers; unsung heroes who sacrifice their own holidays to care for the needs of others, often at little or even no pay.

Christmas for full time carers comes with so much extra stress as services they usually rely on throughout the year come to a halt for the festivities. When day care, special needs schools, home help and respite centres all have times of closure for staff to have annual leave the full time stay at home carer is the one left to pick up the pieces, work longer hours and ensure continuity for the person they care for.

Then you have the fact that pharmacies, GP surgeries, dentists, clinics and out patient appointments all cease for a few days too. For full time carers coping with loved ones with complex medical conditions this not only causes complications but extra worry. Out of hours call centres have often never heard of genetic conditions or have the training to deal with patients who perhaps are unable to communicate. Taking a person you care for who has complex medical and communication needs to an out of hours GP with little to no knowledge of their medical history brings risks and worries for a carer so they often care for someone at home when otherwise they would be able to access medical support. Getting a person who is wheelchair bound or who does not cope with new environments into a clinic they are unfamiliar with presents extra stress and anxiety for a carer who is perhaps already exhausted themselves.

Christmas comes with an expectation of giving to family and friends. For a carer who devotes their entire life to someone else this brings a huge challenge of finding time to do all that is expected as a friend, a mother or sister whilst juggling the continued needs of a loved one. There is only so many hours in a day and the pressure on carers to be everything to everyone can take it’s toll.

Carers are incredible people though. They take on the role of so many professionals without the pay or training. They do physiotherapy, speech therapy, play therapy and occupational therapy without realising. They provide stability of care, reliability of routine, love and attention that no other service or person could provide. They feed, dress, take care of personal needs and befriend some of the most vulnerable in our society at a time when these people are so often forgotten.

This Christmas Day thousands upon thousands of full time carers will be preparing specialist Christmas dinners for someone they love, who for many reasons, is unable to use cutlery or sit at the dinner table with family. They could be providing pain relief, ensuring oxygen is supplied properly or talking to a loved one as they come out of a seizure yet again. They could be changing nappies or pads, dressing wounds or unwrapping gifts for someone else who can not do it for themselves.

They do it out of love. We owe them our love and gratitude too. It may not be our loved one they are caring for right now but one day it could be.

I am one of those full time carers at Christmas and I know the extra stress that this time of year brings.

To all those caring this Christmas know that you too are cared for. I see the extra stress this time of year brings and I care.

I see you care.

Know that I care too.

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This post first appearedĀ here

No-one today should be caring alone

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No-one today should be caring alone

Middle aged man, commuting by train
Thoughts turn to his sister he left crying in pain
He’s off to a meeting, while she struggles at home
Both of them left to face it alone

Teenage mum struggling, pushing a chair
The child is yelling, people just stare
She is begging for help as she picks up the phone
She cares for her child, but does it alone

The couple at the cafe, sharing their tea
One of them lost yet no-one can see
He lives in the past, a mind not his own
Forgetting her name, they both grieve alone

The parents of a child who may never walk
They sing to a baby who still can not talk
Kissing a hand, though it’s all skin and bone
Everyday precious, weeping alone

Little eight year old, should be out to play
Instead she is feeding her dad everyday
Doing his care as the nurses have shown
With no one to tell her she isn’t alone

The next door neighbour, bringing some meals
Staying and listening to ask how she feels
Filling out forms while letting her moan
Determined his friend should not feel alone

The father sitting at the hospital bed
Digesting the words that the doctor just said
A new diagnosis, his mind has been thrown
Needing support so he isn’t alone

So many people with stories to tell
Caring for others, and doing it well
Yet they all need support, to know they are not on their own
Because no-one today should be caring alone.

Miriam Gwynne