Still a child

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Dedicated to the wonderful children who are too often defined by diagnosis, difficulties and impairments.

He sits in a wheelchair with a bib around his neck. People talk about him like he isn’t really there. They feed him something without thinking wether he likes it or not. He has no say where they take him or how he is dressed. But just because he can not speak do not assume he can not understand. Give him a chance. Would you treat any other six year old like that? Treat him with respect and love. Let him try. Let him be included. He may be disabled, but he is still a child.

He screams in your face when you touched him. He bit himself when you closed the door. He is flapping his hands at the rain falling at the window and isn’t interested when you say his name. You don’t need to shout louder because he isn’t deaf. As frustrating as it is to watch, losing your temper at him won’t help. People talk about him like he is unaware. They had information about him but never took the time to read it or do anything about it. It was filed away and forgotten. People try and engage on their terms taking no account of his interests or sensory issues. Some even physically remove him or close the blinds.window Where is the respect? Where is the love? He may be disabled but he is still a child.

She lies on the floor trying to roll. People are pushing and pulling her this way and that. Talking over her noises and ignoring her pain. They think they are helping. They talk to each other without looking at her face, her eyes and listening to her cries. They have their agenda, exercises to increase her movement that no-one has involved her in. Their intentions are good. But have they motivated her and relaxed her? Would you expect any other five year old to exercise without motivation or encouragement? She may be disabled but she is still a child.

She stands at the side of the playground watching all the others play. The adults find this concerning so they devise strategies to include her and teach the children to not allow her to be on her own. She is badgered by voices shouting her name and pulling her hands. She is forced to join in, forced to interact when she didn’t want to. Why did no-one ask her what she wanted? Did she lose the right of choice and privacy when they diagnosed her with autism? They think they are helping but no-one thought to find out if she was happier watching and joining in if and when she wanted to. While other children can watch it seems she isn’t allowed. She may struggle socially but she is still a child.

He can’t speak so they buy him toys that they think he should like. No-one thinks to watch him and see what his interests are. He wants to look at a flyer from a frozen food shop but adults deem that wrong and would rather it was a book. When he licks the toys they take them out his mouth and take them away. They set up fancy sets with tiny cars and bricks that he can not hold and expect him to play like any other child. They get upset and annoyed when he brakes them and screams. They put dvd’s on he has no interest in because it is deemed more age appropriate. They think he can not speak so he can not communicate. But he can. He would rather the baby toys still but they are too embarrassed to buy them for a six year old. He may be developmentally delayed, but he is still a child.

He swears at your face when you say hello. He came out of school kicking and screaming and threatening to kill his teacher and classmates. The other children are scared of hi20140225-210850.jpgm and the school threatens the parents with the police. They label him as disobedient, a bully, having challenging behaviour. They yell at him more than they talk to him. He is retrained far more than he is ever hugged. He is isolated from his peers and banned from after school clubs. They try to fix complex problems with behaviour star charts and bribery. He may have difficulties, but he is still a child.

Despite physical, mental and and social difficulties these are all children. Children who deserve time, patience, understanding and love. They have a right to choose, to be educated and respected, to be listened to and included. They deserve to explore the world around them, learn in their own way and play with toys they enjoy. They deserve hugs and tickles and kisses.

Difficulties and diagnosis should never define anyone. Even if they can not feed them self, dress them self, attend to their own needs, speak or struggle with social interaction or behaviour they are still worthy of respect.

Because most of all, they are still a child.

Just imagine if that child was yours.

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4 thoughts on “Still a child

  1. Just recently I began carrying a picture of my son as a baby to remind myself and others that before he was an observation, evidence, a behaviour, an appointment, a kick, a punch, a quirk…a diagnosis.

    He was, and always will be, my baby first and foremost.

    He is still a child full of fun and adventure and although we take the long road we always get there in the end.

    This post meant a lot to me.

    Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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