What My Ten Year Old Taught Me About Learning Difficulties

A few months ago my ten year old daughter said something that changed the entire way I look at learning difficulties. I hope it will make you think too.

I remembered it was a Wednesday because that’s the day that clinic is always on. I had picked my daughter up early from school as she had an appointment to see a specialist. My daughter attends mainstream school where she is thriving even though she is autistic, has an eating disorder and anxiety. Coming out of school for appointments is a regular occurrence and this specialist was one she had been seeing for six years. I wasn’t expecting anything significant to happen as that day was just a regular check up.

I was right; the check up went as expected and there was nothing significant to report…well nothing significant about the appointment that is.

What I didn’t expect to happen was the conversation in the car on the journey there. Who knew that a ten minute conversation could leave a lasting impression that has radically changed my thinking!

The journey started off quietly. My daughter is so anxious in school she doesn’t speak (a condition known as selective mutism) and sometimes if I pick her up from school during the day it can take a few minutes before she chats freely. I always carry on and let her talk when she feels ready, if she even wants to that is.

I pulled out of the school car park and headed to the clinic. I was at the second set of traffic lights when she started talking. Out of nowhere she asked a simple question:

Mum, do I have learning difficulties?”

As I drove I answered her question as honestly and as simply as I could. I have a background in teaching and thought I had a good knowledge of what learning difficulties is so I told her that we usually class learning difficulties as a struggle with academic things like maths, reading, writing and understanding what people say. She thought about that for a brief moment and then checked her own understanding by listing a few children she knew from her class, also including her own brother who attends a different school and who has severe non verbal autism, who she thought fitted this description. Knowing her class well from volunteering in her school I was able to confirm to her that, yes, all the children she had mentioned, including her brother, did in fact have learning difficulties.

As I concentrated on the road ahead I wasn’t expecting her next comment at all.

Mum, I don’t like the name learning difficulties.

I had to ask her why. She was ready to answer right away.

“Well I struggle with some things but people think I am clever just because I can read and write, but all those children I mentioned are clever too. I mean my brother can use google street map, My friend knows loads about superheroes and my other friend is great at building Lego. So why do people say they have learning difficulties just because reading or counting is hard. That’s unfair.”

I was so glad I was just pulling into the parking at the clinic because what she had just said was so powerful I needed her to say it again.

‘Naomi can you say that last bit again please?’

“Ok mum. Why do people say my friends and my brother have learning difficulties just because reading and counting is hard for them. I think that’s unfair. Don’t we all struggle with something?’

I let her words sink in before I even turned my engine off. I couldn’t actually believe that I had never thought about it that way before.

It took my ten year old to shake up my beliefs. She doesn’t see any of her friends, or her brother, as different. She recognised that everyone struggles with something, after all even though she could read and write and count well here she was attending a clinic because of something she struggled with. Why wasn’t her issue classed as learning difficulties when her friends and brother’s struggles were?

Children can teach us so much if we let them. What my ten year old taught me about learning difficulties is something I will never forget.

It isn’t fair to judge anyone by their struggles when every single one of us struggles with something. We really aren’t any different to anyone else.

Thats powerful. I had no idea my ten year old could be so insightful.

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The Shock Of Finding Out My Autistic Son Has A Brain Tumour

Two months ago I took my non verbal ten year old for a routine MRI under general anaesthetic. It was his fourth one in two years and we all knew the routine. Isaac is autistic with learning difficulties but his love of toy food and his enjoyment of his iPad meant we had found ways to support him through what was always and long and difficult day.

Very few autistic children ever need an MRI. Unfortunately Isaac also has a genetic condition called Neurofibromatosis Type 1 (NF1 for short) which means his body grows tumours on his nerves, and so two years ago an MRI was requested due to his inability to communicate pain or changes that were viral in monitoring his condition. Isaac’s neurologist wasn’t expecting to find anything suspicious so it came as a shock when three weeks after his first MRI I received a call from her to come up and see her the following day with the added request to ‘bring someone with you if possible.’ That gave me some idea that it wasn’t great news.

Two years ago we found out that Isaac has a developmental eye condition in his right eye which meant he very likely had little to no vision in that eye. They also discovered that his left eye had a tumour on the optic nerve which had been discussed with an oncology team and would be monitored. No-one wants their child discussed by an oncologist but I left feeling positive that at least there was no imminent treatment required.

Isaac’s next MRI six months later found more abnormalities but I was assured these were ‘consistent with NF1 and will continue to be monitored.’ Meanwhile Isaac continued to grow and develop and seemed well.

His next MRI was late due to his neurologist being on long term sick leave. By this point Isaac had rather suddenly started having seizures, first for a minute or so then very quickly turning into 4 and almost 5 minutes long with full shaking, vomiting, thrashing and foaming at the mouth. They were terrifying for everyone. It didn’t bode well for the results of his scan which showed an ‘emerging tumour’ in his right frontal lobe which was almost certainly causing his seizures. It took months but finally we found a medication which seemed to help, though it made Isaac very weak and caused other side effects that I was reassured would settle.

That was a year ago this month. Isaac’s neurologist went on to retire and there was a long wait to be seen by a new neurologist. He referred for another scan as this hadn’t happened and thus it was 9 months before Isaac finally had his next scan. This takes us to two months ago. By this point I was slightly concerned as Isaac had never really picked up since last summer and in fact he was more tired, his walking was worse, he was vomiting randomly and seemed very lethargic.

So here I was in the same day ward for the fourth time as my son yet again had general anaesthetic for a procedure that enabled us to gain more knowledge of what was going on in his body. What happened next turned our whole world upside down.

Three weeks after the MRI I had a call one Thursday evening while my children were eating dinner. It was Isaac’s neurologist apologising for the delay in me getting his results and saying that this was due to medical meetings to discuss his scans and that unfortunately they had found something concerning. My son had a growing brain tumour. A medical team including an oncologist and a neurosurgeon had been discussing my child without me ever knowing.

That night I was told my son needed an operation for a brain tumour biopsy and that the neurosurgeon or oncologist would call with a date to speak to me further and tell me more. Due to Easter weekend and difficulties scheduling a time when both the oncologist and surgeon were available it was two weeks later before I found myself in a cancer ward of my local children’s hospital being shown this scan of my son’s brain tumour and being told that he required a repeat scan urgently followed by an operation to remove some of the tumour for biopsy before possibly needing chemotherapy or radiotherapy. All the time my son was at school as if it was all just my imagination.

We then waited for a call and life seemed to be in limbo. The hospital struggled to find a date so at one point they wanted Isaac admitted indefinitely so that he could take advantage of any cancellation right away. Being autistic, and having an autistic sister and dad this would have made life impossible so it was a huge answer to prayer when I had a return phone call to say someone had cancelled and a day could now be set for Isaac’s repeat MRI.

He had that just 9 days ago. It showed his tumour had grown again so at 3pm that day I had a call to say Isaac was to be admitted to hospital the next day. While I amused and settled my complex needs child the surgeon explained that due to the position of the tumour and the possibility of needing a repeat operation he would need to carry out a much larger operation called a craniotomy and Isaac would be in surgery for some hours. He could not say wether he would recover, wether he would walk or play again or if he would even survive surgery. Signing permission was terrifying.

Isaac had a six hour operational to cut his skull open and remove some of his tumour for biopsy just a week ago. When he finally returned to the ward he would not regain consciousness and it was touch and go throughout that night if he would make it. It was Saturday morning before he woke, a much different child to the one who had went to theatre the morning before.

Isaac got discharged two days after his operation. Having him in hospital and juggling care for two complex autistic children was very very difficult and my whole family went through extreme trauma. It took until two days ago before Isaac could walk and stand unaided. His appearance changed drastically due to extensive bruising. He needed fed for several days as he could not even feed himself.

A week after surgery and he is recovering well. He can stand, walk, use his iPad and say two of the three words he had previously. He can self feed, see from one eye and is aware of much more than everyone expected.

In five days time we are due to get the results of his biopsies. He could face a repeat operation to remove the tumour or chemotherapy or radiotherapy. Or there may be nothing more they can do.

Life has changed significantly. It’s been a huge shock for everyone to find out Isaac had a brain tumour and then watching as he went through extensive and serious brain surgery.

The one blessing of it all though is that Isaac lives in the moment. He wakes everyday and takes on whatever comes his way with a determination, a tenacity and a resilience that assures me that regardless of his extensive communication and learning difficulties his love of life (and love of lifts) will see him through whatever the future has.

Until Wednesday I don’t know any more.

Tonight I am eternally grateful to kiss my son goodnight and hold him in my arms.

Who Will Fight For The Rights Of Less Able Autistics Like My Son?

This week the autistic community achieved something quite incredible. News began spreading earlier this week that a large government body had changed the wording on their site that said that anyone diagnosed autistic was now forced to inform the driving and vehicle licensing agency about their diagnosis potentially risking their driver’s licence.

The autistic community responded to this and rallied together defending their rights incredible well. They tweeted MP’s who battled for them, they started petitions and shared them everywhere, they made sure the leading charities supported them and they even looked into the law on the matter. As the wife of an autistic man who drives daily, and who I even taught to drive, I found it heartening and wonderful to watch a community come together and demand action. Days later the wording was changed back to its original wording that means autistic drivers, like those with any other condition or disability which could potentially impact on driving, only need to inform the agency if they feel their autism would affect their driving. Brilliant news indeed and a massive win for the rights of autistic drivers.

However, despite having an autistic husband who has been driving over 11 years I was very quiet online about the campaign even though I fully supported it. (I did sign the petition obviously.)

There was one simple reason for my silence and that was this:

It was great to see the autistic community defending themselves, and rightly so, but would the same autistic community, and society in general, be so outraged and campaign so valiantly if the violation was against the less able autistic community like my son?

I can’t help but think who will fight for my son’s rights?

Will his fellow autistics or those in society defend him, write petitions to ensure he is protected and contact members of parliaments about things that affect him? Will the public be so outraged and vocal about things that affect his rights? Would campaigns for the less able autistics get as much media coverage?

One thing is certain: my son will never be able to advocate for himself. He has no ability to speak, diagnosed with co-morbid learning difficulties and epilepsy and developmentally a young baby. Yet still every bit as worthy as a human being.

This week autistic drivers defended themselves. The very fact this group passed the drivers test, many having had to also pass a theory test too, proves a level of cognitive understanding and ability that makes them capable of self advocacy and defending their own rights well. I’m not a huge fan of ‘functioning labels’ but the very ability to drive means the group targeted have a level of awareness and understanding that my son will never reach. This in turn meant they could rally so much public support.

My son won’t ever be able to vocally speak up for himself.

He won’t be able to tweet anyone to come to his aid.

He won’t be able to start or even sign a petition. He likely won’t even know what one is.

He won’t be able to lobby for change.

I 100% stand by and support what was achieved this week but I also can’t help but wonder would we be so outraged as a country, as a community, if an agency violated my son’s rights like happened this week?

You only need to look at campaigns and petitions for things like making sure the police are trained in autism to help protect the most vulnerable autistics, campaigns against autistics being held in assessment and treatment units for mental health patients, campaigns to stop unnecessary force when dealing with autistic children and young people with learning difficulties and/or challenging behaviour, and even campaigns for the dignity of autistic children like my son to have suitable ‘Changing Places’ bathrooms with a hoist and a bench, to see that such campaigns need more support both from self advocates and society in general. What are the charities, celebrities, members of parliament and media doing to support campaigns such as these which are and do affect less able autistics like my son?

I advocate on my son’s behalf but many in the autistic community find that offensive saying my son needs to be enabled to advocate himself. The fact is he won’t ever be capable of that level of awareness or understanding. I have to be his voice. Until the day I can no longer do so I will fight for my son’s rights as a human being, child and eventually an adult. I will do everything in my power to see him respected, treated with dignity and be understood.

I just hope that if the time ever comes when his rights need defended that others within the autism community, and in society as a whole, will come together and stand up for him in the same way they stood up for themselves this week.

He’s autistic too, even if he won’t ever work, pay tax, raise a family or even drive.

He’s still every bit as worthy, valuable and he should have just as much rights.

If we say we support the rights of autistics are we fighting for the rights of the less able as much as for those who can advocate well themselves?

Will you stand with the less able autistics like my son?

My Ten Year Old Son Doesn’t Know What Christmas Even Is

As his twin sister races downstairs eager to open another door on her advent calendar, excitedly counting down the days to Christmas Day, you watch TV flapping like any other day.

As your twin sister practices Christmas songs after school in preparations for her Christmas show in two weeks time you watch the same ten seconds of lifts on you tube and rock in your seat as you always do.

Christmas means nothing to you.

No letters to Santa, and definitely no visits to any grottos.

No decorating a tree with the family or even any concept of what tinsel is.

No singing Christmas carols or dancing to seasonal pop songs as they play in the shops.

It all means nothing to you.

Your world is oblivious to the hype, the busyness, the traditions that consume society at this time of year.

You would eat turkey and all the trimmings if it’s put in front of you, but you would equally eat any other meal presented too. It’s just food to you, nothing more, nothing less.

My autistic ten year old has no understanding or interest in Christmas. He is still consumed by his own world, dependent entirely on routine, not communicating verbally at all.

Honestly, some days that breaks my heart. I know we should not compare children as each child is unique and individual but at Christmas you want your child to be excited, happy, expectant. Instead my son is uninterested, unconcerned and unaware.

Christmas isn’t his ‘thing’. Neither is Easter, his birthday, the tooth fairy or any other number of occasions you can think of. None of it enters his world.

He won’t write any Christmas cards (he can’t write any letters let alone his name) and he likely won’t receive any either, family events and get togethers are too much for him so I stay home with him. The only Christmas event he will come to is the church service but even then he gets very upset because it’s different to how he perceives church to be. He doesn’t know Christmas carols and he wants the usual songs he is used to back.

He doesn’t like the changes.

He doesn’t like new stuff.

He doesn’t like Christmas.

I can’t change that. It’s who he is and how he is. I could cry my eyes out every day for years but it won’t change things. I’ve had a decade of crying and wishing things were different. I have accepted that Christmas just isn’t something my ten year old understands nor does he wish to partake in it.

Even if I bought him presents he would never open them. He’s never opened a birthday or Christmas present in his life.

I could pretend it’s all ok. I could move a tree near where he is and take a picture and pretend he’s part of it all. I could put seasonal clothes on him and imagine he chose them. I could buy and wrap stuff for him and dream that somehow the magic of Christmas would change him overnight. All that would do is break my heart more.

I don’t need that. He doesn’t need that.

So while I decorate my daughters bedroom with her and revel in her excitement, while I buy and wrap gifts for her eagerly looking forward to seeing her face on Christmas morning, while we sing and laugh together as we practice Christmas songs the other side to my life is that I am playing down everything as much as possible to keep my son at ease.

I walk a fine line of trying to celebrate and embrace Christmas with one twin whilst ignoring it’s very existence with the other.

My son has severe learning difficulties, severe autism and epilepsy. He can’t speak. He can’t care for himself.

He is full of life, full of fun and the love of my life.

But at ten years old he still doesn’t know what Christmas even is…and he most likely never will.

Why I Struggle When My Special Needs Child Gets ‘Star of the Week’

So my 9 year old son came home from school on Friday with a certificate and photograph in his bag. There was no eagerness to show me and no message in his school diary; it was just there. Of course I am proud of him and told him so and absolutely it will be displayed on his bedroom wall to honour his achievements like his sisters are in her room. That is never in doubt. However, I have to be honest and say I really struggle when my son gets ‘star of the week’ and here is why:

1. It reminds me just how far behind he is academically.

It’s a sobering thought that my son has been at school five and a half years and is still working at pre-school levels in many subjects. The very fact he still has no idea that star of the week is any sort of aspirational incentive to even aim for says it all. He isn’t being modest or shy in not showing me his certificate; he honestly still doesn’t get the whole social aspect of celebrating achievement in any way. His twin sister commented on his award saying ‘well done Isaac but…’ and she went on to ask why he is still so far behind her. That’s hard. You see I live with my child daily and I know he struggles but seeing it on paper seems to somehow make it raw. It hurts. I am proud of my son but sad that he is behind so much. I don’t think anyone wants their child to be 7 or so years behind their peers in any way.

2. It makes me scared for the future.

I try not to think of the future. I live everyday and enjoy the moment but wisdom would tell me that I do need to plan for the future too. I shared my sons achievement on social media and today someone asked me in person what happens to children like my son when they finish education. The reality is my son will likely not be suitable for college and academically will never reach the level required for university. Employment is pretty unlikely too so our current options include him living at home and attending day care services. That’s not what I planned for my child when I conceived him and carried him for nine months, and although I do need to be mentally prepared for this seeing his star of the week award just feels like his future is all planned out and that is scary. His options are limited and seeing his academic ability on a laminated sheet makes that a stark reality. I won’t lie, that is hard to accept.

3. It makes me feel he is being defined by his ability to learn.

When I think of my child I think of am energetic, fun loving, teddy chewing, mischievous little brown eyed boy who does the best squeezy hugs and who loves his food. I think of the child who has incredible gifts in communication despite having no spoken language. I get so much joy from singing along to the songs he plays on his iPad and going to lifts with him. I see a child who gets so excited every time Bing Bunny comes on the TV that he bounces in the armchair he is sitting in. I see a child who could go hundreds of miles to places on google street map even though he has significant visual impairment. I don’t see his lack of ability to read or write or speak as an issue and none of those difficulties define him. So when I see his star of the week award I hope that this is not just how society sees my child either.

My son will always struggle with some things. Professionals and medical specialists have told me it is unlikely my son will ever speak to me. Education have told me he won’t ever attend a mainstream school and college or further education is unlikely. It’s a very sobering thought but with that comes my absolute determination that my son should never ever be defined by his struggles.

So I will stick his award on his bedroom wall and smile. It’s great he has been recognised. It’s great he is making progress but I never forget that for everyone of us life is much more than our ability to learn or how far we go in education.

I struggle when my son gets star of the week because his ability to achieve should never be limited to traditional education. I am raising a remarkable, brave and wonderful child who is breaking the mould in life. He is a star in so many more ways than just trying to write the digit 2. One of the many reasons I write about him is to help others see beyond his academically ability (or lack of) so I will stick that award up and get back to celebrating my son in every other way I do daily.

Don’t ever let educational achievement define anyone. We are much more than our ability to learn.

How one 9 year-old Described her Brother’s Autism in just a few pen strokes

There was nothing special about Thursday evening as I worked my way through the typical bedtime routine for my 9 year old twins. They had already had a bath, clean pyjamas on, eaten some supper and now they had moved into their separate rooms ready for stories, kisses and pre-sleep chats.

It’s hard to split yourself in two (or three, or four even if you are blessed with a quiver full) but my daughter willingly lets me see to her brother first most nights. She sacrifices so much for her autistic brother and this is just another example of how she puts his needs before her own daily. While she amused herself quietly with what I assumed was some colouring in or reading I continued on to settle her somewhat hyperactive brother next door.

I read the same story as always. He chooses the same story every night despite the fact he has a whole basket of books in his room. His autism means routines should never change and repetition is very much the name of the game. Unlike his sister he isn’t going to talk to me at bedtime about his school anxieties or fall outs with his friends. He has no friends. I have no idea what goes on at school (or anywhere he is out of my care) and at nine he has no spoken language. I hug and kiss him. I get nothing much in return. One day I might, but not tonight. I tuck him in, leave the room and turn off his light.

As I go next door to his sister her eyes light up as she clutches a little piece of paper to give to me.

“Mummy, I’ve been thinking about Isaac tonight. Can I show you something Mummy?”

And at that she handed me this:

I asked her to talk to me about it.

Mummy, these are the wires in my head. One is the talking wire, one is the brushing my own teeth wire, one is knowing my times tables in maths wire, one is knowing how to write wire, this one is playing with friends wire, this is the knowing how to read wire…”

She named all twelve straight lines she had drawn and said how for her, like most other children, she was able to do all of the things she listed. She talked about how some of her wires connect right away and others took time but they ‘knew where they were going’ and as she gets older and learns more ‘new things’ she will have ‘more wires that know where to go and connect up straight’.

I was amazed that a child could be so aware, so astute and so insightful. I let her continue on.

‘And this, I think, is my brother’s wires mum. He finds everything so hard doesn’t he? This is his talking wire mum. Look it goes to the connection for brushing teeth. No wonder he can’t talk when his brain gets confused like that! This is his writing wire…it’s supposed to be connected to the writing one at the bottom but instead it’s connected to the playing with friends wire. It’s all so hard when your brain gets confused but I know he is trying! I mean everything must be so hard when the wires are all jumbled up like this!’

I looked at her with tears behind my eyes. If anyone will advocate in life for her brother when I am gone it will be his sister. She understands him like no other.

My daughter knows I write. So I had to ask her.

“Naomi, is it ok for mummy to share this with other people? Is that ok with you?”

She smiled and in her usual determined way took the sheet back from me and pointed to her strokes again.

“Only if you make sure you tell everyone that it’s ok to have autism. Make sure people know Isaac does HAVE wires. He has a brain. He is trying. If I could make his wires straight Mummy I would, do you know that?”

I hugged her tight and kissed her forehead. She doesn’t want her brother to not have autism. I know that. She just wants to hear his voice, be able to play with him, brush her teeth beside him, write stories with him and practice her times tables with him like she does her friends from school.

She might want a brother with straight lined connections, but she could not love her autistic brother more if she tried, with crisscross jumbled wires and all the wonderful quirkiness that that brings.

Her understanding maybe over simplified in many ways but her fierce protection and love can never be denied.

I keep looking at that piece of paper.

She’s so right. My son is severely autistic with significant learning difficulties. He will need care all his life. But she’s spot on: he still has wires. He still has a brain. He can learn. He has potential. Life maybe much more confusing for him with wires that go different ways to what ours do but is that such a massive problem?

Maybe, just maybe, having straight lined connections in your brain is not for everyone. The world would be a very boring place if all our brains looked the same after all.

Please stop praying for my son with autism to be healed

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So many people have told me over the years they are praying for my son. I am incredible grateful for that and the kindness they show but what are they praying about?
Are they asking God for my 8 year old to finally speak? Are they asking for his seizures to stop? Are they praying he learns to communicate or to read and write? Or are they praying for him to be healed of his autism?

Let me be very clear..I want people to pray for my son. My entire family needs prayers and needs God more than we ever have. We need love and support. But please please could you not pray for my son with autism to be healed?

Here is why.

There are many occasions when Jesus healed individual people in the Bible. These include people who were blind, deaf, paralysed, had leprosy, fevers, seizures and even those who had died. Despite studying all of these incidences I could not find any occasions when Jesus prayed for anyone who had learning difficulties or communication difficulties like my son’s autism to be healed.

Then there were mass healing events that Jesus did. Again although many were healed there is no direct reference to children or adults who struggled socially or had repetitive behaviours like my son.

The Bible says that Jesus welcomed the little children. Although I have no proof I am certain there were children in Bible times who displayed similar difficulties to my child. I know they were every bit as welcome to Jesus.

The Bible says that my child is fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14).
The Bible says my son was knitted together in my womb (Psalm 139: 13)
The Bible says my son is created in God’s likeness (Ephesians 4:24)
The Bible says my son is the apple of God’s eye. (Psalm 17:8)
The Bible says my son is God’s workmanship created to do good works. (Ephesians 2:10)
The Bible says God has plans to prosper my son and not to harm him, to give him a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

God sees no difference between my son and anyone else. He does not view my son as less than or inadequate in any way. Could God heal my son of his seizures and his genetic condition that causes tumours in his body? Yes, without a doubt. Could God open my son’s mouth to give him clear speech? Yes, I believe that with all my heart. Could God cause him to be more settled and display less challenging behaviour and agitation? Without a seconds doubt of course he could. These are things I pray over him daily.

IMG_0440I pray for peace for him. I pray for joy and laughter. I pray for people to understand him and show him love. I pray safety as he travels so far back and forth in country roads to school each day. I pray for a receptive mind and open heart. I pray strength to his body and ease from pain. I pray for him to sleep (I am human so this is something I need too).

I pray for strength for myself as I care for him. I pray for wisdom and unity for those who work with me to meet his needs. I pray for his sister as she deals and lives with some events that could traumatise her. I pray her tender heart is not broken too often. I pray for friends she can trust. I pray she knows she is loved when her brother consumes so much of my time.

There is so many things I pray for and so many things others can pray for too. There are things you CAN pray for for my son to be healed of, but autism is not one of them. Autism is a neurological difference in his mind that causes him to see the world a bit differently. Autism is a part of the way God made him and it makes him beautiful and perfect.

God made each one of us part of a body. My son is every bit as much a part of the body of Christ as the next person even if he has severe learning difficulties, is vision impaired, has global delay and has autism. It does not matter to God that he flaps, spins, screams and is unable to speak. Man looks at all that but as the Bible says “The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” I Samuel 16:7

I pray that the world looks at my son’s heart too.

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